If the FAYZ had Facebook
by Written Blood
Summary: What would happen if a FAYZ version of Facebook was created? Slight OOC, mostly fooling about in general. Pure parody. 10/05/13: NEW CHAPTER! I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG!
1. Chapter 1

Sam Temple is now friends with Astrid Ellison, Edilio Escobar, Brianna_Breeze, Lana_The_Healer  
Sam Temple is now friends with Quinn Gaither, Caine Soren, Dekka Talent, Computer Jack, Bouncing_Taylor

Sam Temple: Thanks for getting the Internet up and running, Jack!  
Computer Jack: No problem!  
Brianna_Breeze: This is awesome!  
Diana Ladris: I'm having weird pregnancy cravings for banana muffins and marshmallows.  
Caine Soren: WHAT?  
Bouncing_Taylor: Oops. Busted.

Sam Temple: Eating cabbage. YUCK! **Like**  
Edilio Escobar, Quinn Gaither, and 10 others like this.

Astrid Ellison: Sam! You will eat what we have, and we have cabbage. Oh, and correct your grammar.  
Lana_The_Healer: Boys can be so ungrateful.  
Diana Ladris: MARSHMALLOWS.  
Brianna_Breeze: Diana? Are you feeling OK?

Dekka Talent: How did Caine get into the FAYZ group?  
Caine Soren: I have my means.  
Brianna_Breeze: _Computer JACK!_  
Computer Jack: I had a whip around my neck. :(  
Drake Merwin: You better believe it.  
Brianna_Breeze: Boys...  
Bouncing_Taylor: Are...  
Astrid Ellison: Such...  
Diana Ladris: Marshmallows!  
Brianna_Breeze: What? Diana! Boys are... _marshmallows?_ You're kidding, right?

_Drake Merwin likes 'Pink Ponies'._ **LIKE**  
Sam Temple, Caine Soren, Astrid Temple, Diana Ladris and 15 others like this.

Drake Merwin: I could've _sworn_ I deleted this post!

Brianna_Breeze: You are a doof, you know that, Mr. Pink Pony? **LIKE**  
Sam Temple, Dekka Talent, and 10 others like this.

Drake Merwin: I'll **KILL** you, Brianna!  
Brianna_Breeze: You can't. There's no way you can outrun _The Breeze._  
Drake Merwin: Why you little...  
Lana_The_Healer: I have a feeling Brianna's gonna start insulting Drake...  
Bouncing_Taylor: 3...  
Sam Temple: 2..  
Dekka Talent: 1...  
Diana Ladris: MARSHMALLOWS.  
Brianna_Breeze: DIANA!

_Sam Temple is 'in a relationship' with Astrid Ellison._ **LIKE**  
Caine Soren, Quinn Gaither, Edilio Escobar and 120 others like this.

_Comments_:  
Sam Temple: Stalkers.  
Astrid Ellison: I love you, Sam!  
Bouncing_Taylor: No WAY will I ever press the 'like' button up there.  
Astrid Ellison: In your _FACE_, Taylor!  
Bouncing_Taylor: :(  
Astrid Ellison: :P  
Sam Temple: Wow, Astrid. That's the first smiley you've ever done.  
Astrid Ellison: I'm a fast learner. :) ;) :D -.- (") ^.^ . :( :'(  
Sam Temple: Whoa, Astrid, don't get carried away.  
Diana Ladris: Marshmallows.

_Ellen_Fire_Chief likes 'water'  
Ellen_Fire_Chief likes 'fire trucks'  
Sam Temple likes 'light'  
Dekka Talent likes 'gravity'  
Brianna_Breeze likes 'running'_

_Caine Soren likes 'I'll rule the world before I turn 18' _**LIKe**

_Comments_  
Dekka Talent: ...  
Edilio Escobar: ...  
Sam Temple: ...  
Astrid Ellison: ...  
Lana_The_Healer: ...  
Brianna_Breeze: You darn stupid moron of a telekinetic power-wielding freak of nature!  
Diana Ladris: PINK marshmallow!

_Diana Ladris has been temporarily blocked from The FAYZ_ **LIKE**

_Comments_

Astrid Ellison: I feel bad, but honestly, marshmallows were getting annoying.

_Diana Ladris has been un-blocked from The FAYZ_ **LIKE**  
Caine Soren likes this.

Diana Ladris: _I WANT DRAKE MERWIN TO STOP SENDING ME FREAKING FARMVILLE REQUESTS!_  
Drake Merwin: But who will send me grains.. and seeds... and fertilisers?  
Diana Ladris: You've terrorised how many kids and you can't find _anyone at all_ to force to send you stuff?  
Sam Temple: Pity sarcasm doesnt wrk online  
Astrid Ellison: Correct your grammar, Sam. **It's a Pity sarcasm doesnt **doesn't wrk **work online.  
Sam Temple: Unfortunately, grammar-correcting still works online.

Dekka Talent: Brianna, what are you doing now?  
Brianna_Breeze: Just hanging out.  
Toto_Truth-Teller: That is not true.  
Brianna_Breeze: -.-  
Computer Jack: OK, fine, she and I are not _just_ hanging out.  
Dekka Talent: :(

John Terrafino: I'm really _really_ tired. A whole day of taking care of the prees is a lot of work.  
Toto_Truth-Teller: True.  
John Terrafino: Toto! Don't say another word or I might just _MURDER_ you!  
Toto_Truth-Teller: True.  
Astrid Ellison: Logically speaking, we are not talking, we're chatting online, thus typing only, not necessarily opening our mouths to speak, John.  
John Terrafino: You are so _pedantic_.  
Toto_Truth-Teller: True.  
John Terrafino: TOTO! I'm gonna _MURDER_ you!  
Astrid Ellison: The Bible says, John, 'Thou shalt not murder'.  
John Terrafino: I'm losing my patience!  
Toto_Truth-Teller: True.

_John Terrafino has logged off._


	2. Chapter 2

Drake Merwin: Why am I even _here on the freaking FAYZ page?_  
Caine Soren: How'd I know?  
Brianna_Breeze: You were the one who forced Computer Jack into letting you in.  
Diana Ladris: Marshmallow, anyone?  
Lana_The_Healer: Point.  
Drake Merwin: Taken. And thrown out the window.  
Diana Ladris: I'm gonna go get a marshmallow.  
Sam Temple: What-

_Diana Ladris has logged off_

Sam Temple: Never mind  
Astrid Ellison: Yeah, and I was trying to teach the prees at the day care Algebra.  
Sam Temple: Astrid, what did I say about the littles and Algebra? And how is this related to what I was saying?  
Astrid Ellison: Wait... What?  
Sam Temple: *slams face on table*

_Diana Ladris has logged on_

John Terrafino has posted on his wall

John Terrafino: I am so tired, working at the day care. One kid has a fever, the other is screaming for his mom, etc.. **LIKE**

_Comments:_  
Toto_Truth-Teller: That is true.  
John Terrafino: TOTO! If you post on my wall 'that is true' ONE more freaking time I swear to God I will KILL you!  
Astrid Ellison: _John Terrafino!_ You will _not_ use God's name in vain.  
Toto_Truth-Teller: That is true.  
John Terrafino: #$%&*$#%! I am outta here.

_John Terrafino has logged off_

Caine Soren: Sam, I am holding one of Edilio's soldiers hostage. If you don't do what I say...  
Toto_Truth-Teller: That is a lie.  
Caine Soren: Shut up. Drake, please post the picture for Sam to see.  
Drake Merwin: OK. Here's the picture: ^_^  
Sam Temple: ... What the...?  
Caine Soren: DRAKE, what is a SMILEY FACE doing there? It's supposed to be scary!  
Drake Merwin: Oh.  
Sam Temple: *just about dies of laughter*  
Caine Soren: _"Oh"?_ That's all you can SAY?  
Astrid Ellison: Logically, we are not speaking, we are typing, thus-  
Caine Soren: WHATEVER!  
Drake Merwin: Wait. Who am I talking to again?  
Caine Soren: #$%blefasgkrfandgkds...  
Drake Merwin: Wait. Your name is #$%blefasgkrfandgkds...?  
Toto_Truth-Teller: That is a lie.  
Caine Soren: I give up.

_Caine Soren has logged off_


	3. Chapter 3

_Diana Ladris liked 'marshmallows', 'banana muffins', and 'more marshmallows'._ **LIKE**

_Comments:_  
Sam Temple: Your cravings are really beginning to get to me... o.O

* * *

_Diana Ladris is now 'in a relationship'._ **LIKE**  
_Caine Soren likes this.  
_  
_Comments:_  
Astrid Ellison: But who the heck are you in a relationship with? **LIKE**  
Diana Ladris: My true love, marshmallow. I named it Puffy. **LIKE**  
_Astrid Ellison, Sam Temple, Edilio Escobar, and 20 others like this._

Caine Soren: #$%! WHAT THE...? **LIKE**  
_Drake Merwin likes this._  
Drake Merwin: That just means she's gone off her rocker.

* * *

_Astrid Ellison is 'single'._ **LIKE**  
_Bouncing_Taylor likes this._

_Comments:_  
Sam Temple: Why, why, why?  
Bouncing_Taylor: YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!

* * *

_Drake Merwin is 'in a relationship'._ **LIKE**

_Comments:_  
Sam Temple: Who the heck would be crazy enough to be in a relationship with YOU?  
Caine Soren: ^^He's kind of got a point there.  
Drake Merwin: My whiphand.  
Toto_Truth-Teller: That is true.  
Brianna_Breeze: ...  
Lana_The_Healer: Why are so many of us suddenly 'in a relationship' or becoming 'single'?  
_Sanjit Brattle-Chance likes this._

* * *

John Terrafino: ...And he was like, "THAT IS A LIE."  
Brianna_Breeze: Toto?  
John Terrafino: Toto.  
Toto_Truth-Teller: That is true.  
John Terrafino: SHUT UP!

* * *

_Sam Temple, Edilio Escobar, John Terrafino, and 20 others like 'The FAYZ stinks'.  
Brianna_Breeze, Sam Temple, Toto_Truth-Teller, Caine Soren, and 2 others like 'my powers are awesome.'  
Computer Jack likes 'Imma computer geek'._

* * *

Caine Soren: *singing:* Sam's father is Green Lantern!  
Toto_Truth-Teller: That is a lie.  
Brianna_Breeze: Don't push your luck, Caine. The other day Taylor teased Sam about it and he got real mad.  
Bouncing_Taylor: Exactly.  
Toto_Truth-Teller: True.  
John Terrafino: TOTO WILL YOU STOP SAYING THAT BECAUSE IT IS MAJORLY GETTING ON MY NERVES!  
_


	4. Chapter 4

Zil Sperry: Plan to kill mutants: Hank, we'll go after Temple. Lisa, get Dekka. Lance, Ellison, because she'll catch on to what we're doing fast. Antoine, get Brianna, simply because I don't take kindly to being insulted. **LIKE**  
_Hank, Lance, and 2 others like this._

Sam Temple: Dude...you just posted your AWESOME plan IN "the mutants" private group...So it ain't gonna work... **LIKE**  
_Astrid Temple, Matthew Johnson and 10 others like this_

Dekka Talent: And kid, aren't you supposed to be... Well, you know... Um... _**DEAD?**_ (Implying heavy sarcasm here)  
Brianna_Breeze: That plan? Total fail. You want to send ONE of your pathetic minions after me? PUH-LEASE, all of you probably couldn't get me, much less Astrid, Sam and me. Stupid freaking morons. **LIKE**  
_Astrid Ellison, Dekka Talent, Lana_The_Healer and 20 others like this_

Zil Sperry: OOOOPS! My mistake...AND SEE? Brianna did it AGAIN! **LIKE**  
_Nobody likes this_

Edilio Escobar: Who's Nobody?  
Lana_The_Healer: An account I made for liking lame comments made by Zil, Drake, Caine, and maybe even Sam. **LIKE**  
Brianna_Breeze, Edilio Escobar, Bouncing_Taylor and 5 others likes this

Sam Temple: HEY!  
Zil Sperry: Oh no. You will NOT turn my post into a chatroom.

* * *

Caine Soren: is back and IN DA HOUSE! **LIKE**  
_Nobody likes this_

Drake Merwin: Caine...no more coke for you...  
Edilio Escobar: HE HAS COKE! HOW? WHY? WHERE? **LIKE**  
_Caine Soren likes this_  
Caine Soren: Nya nya nya nya NYA! XP  
Diana Ladris: Marshmallows are better!

* * *

Drake Merwin: DRAKE DA MAN IS IN DA HOUSE! **LIKE**

_Comments:_  
Drake Merwin: Why didn't anyone like this post? **LIKE**  
_Nobody likes this._

* * *

Diana Ladris: I swear, Caine is slowly losing the tiny bit of sanity he has... **LIKE**  
_Lana_The_Healer, Astrid Ellison, Sam Temple and 120 others like this._

_Comments:_  
Brianna_Breeze: Oh, like he hasn't already lost _all_ his sanity. **LIKE**  
_Diana Ladris, Sam Temple, Astrid Ellison and 10 others like this._  
Toto_Truth-Teller: True.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Eight is finally here, everyone! Thank you so much for waiting! =) Enjoy!**

**Written Twilight**  
~Julia

* * *

_Caine Soren has become friends with The Gaiaphage _**LIKE**

_Comments:_

Sam Temple: Dude, what the heck?  
Brianna_Breeze: Are you sure this isn't just Computer Jack playing a prank on us by creating an account called "The Gaiaphage"?  
Computer Jack: No… What?  
Caine Soren: It really is the Gaiaphage.  
John Terrafino: WHAT?! ARE YOU INSANE?  
Diana Ladris: What do you think he is?  
Caine Soren: But who will send me Farmville requests? :(  
Sam Temple: …  
Astrid Ellison: I'd like to know how the Gaiaphage is typing. **LIKE  
**_Sam Temple, Diana Ladris and 7 others like this.  
_Diana Ladris: CAINE SOREN UNLIST THE GAIAPHAGE AS YOUR FRIEND RIGHT NOW.  
Caine Soren: NO! Then who will send me my fertilisers and plants and stuff?  
Diana Ladris: Oh, I don't know… Someone who DIDN'T TRY TO KILL YOU?  
Caine Soren: You're right… GAIAPHAGE WHATSYOURNAME, IF YOU DARE TOUCH ANY OF MY MEGA RARE PONIES I WILL FREAKING KILL YOU.  
The Gaiaphage: Aww, don't worry, Caine, us Farmville buddies hafta stick together.

* * *

**Computer Jack has posted in The FAYZ:**

Hello, everyone! I've got a new update—you can change your font colours!

_Sam Temple, John Terrafino, Bouncing_Taylor and 20 others like this._

_Comments:_

Caine Soren: The colours! So pweeeety! ^.^  
Astrid Ellison: WHAT. THE. FLIPPING. HECK.

* * *

Drake Merwin: I LOVE PONIES! **LIKE**

_Comments:_

Brianna_Breeze: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
Drake Merwin: That wasn't me!  
Edilio Escobar: Riiiiiiiight…

* * *

_Drake Merwin has changed his name to 'Drake is a freaking idiot'._ **LIKE**

_Sam Temple, Caine Soren,Diana Ladris, Lana_The_Healer and 150 others like this._

_Drake is a freaking idiot has changed his name to 'Drake Merwin'._ **LIKE  
**_Nobody likes this._

Drake Merwin: I turned into Brittney!  
Brianna_Breeze: I wish you'd permanently STAY as Brittney.  
Sam Temple: Yeah, even if Brittney kind of IS on the side of—  
Dekka Talent: Shut up, Sam. PLAGUE SPOILERS!  
Lana_The_Healer: …

* * *

Quinn Gaither: THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH! **LIKE**

_Nobody likes this._

_Comments:_

Brianna_Breeze: It is official: Every person in the FAYZ has got mental issues.  
Justin: The end of the world is night? I didn't know the end of the world is at night.  
Astrid Ellison: …NIGH. Not NIGHT.  
Bouncing_Taylor: Aren't you too young to have a FAYZbook account, Justin?  
Justin: And aren't you supposed to be—  
Dekka Talent: FEAR SPOILERS!

* * *

Computer Jack: I love you, Brianna!

Dekka Talent: Oh, seriously, you two, go get a freaking room.  
Brianna_Breeze: JACK!  
Computer Jack: I'm going to kill Quinn for hijacking my account…  
Quinn Gaither: "Jacking" Computer Jack's account. Hehe.  
Sam Temple: …

* * *

_Diana Ladris likes 'marshmallows', 'marshmallows', and 'more marshmallows'. _**LIKE**

_Comments:_

Astrid Ellison: Oh dear, here we go again…  
Brianna_Breeze: I TOLD YOU EVERYONE IN THE FAYZ IS GOING INSANE!  
Bouncing_Taylor: What…  
Dahra Baidoo: In…  
Lana_The_Healer: The…  
Edilio Escobar: FAYZ—  
Diana Ladris: MARSHMALLOWS ARE FLIPPIN' AWESOME.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Please do R constructive criticism is most welcomed.**

**Have a great day!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for the feedback, everyone!**

**This chapter is basically relationships; and Sam is quite OOC.**

* * *

Chapter 7

_Astrid Ellison is 'in a relationship'._ **LIKE**

_Dekka Talent, Brianna_Breeze, Computer Jack and 10 others like this._

_Comments:_

Sam Temple: WHO THE HECK IS IT?

Brianna_Breeze: ...

Dekka Talent: ...

Edilio Escobar: ...

Caine Soren: Whoa, man, are you dense or what?

Computer Jack: ...Idiot. Moron.

Sam Temple: I just wanna know who Astrid is dating!

Astrid Ellison: ...Idiot.

_Caine Soren, Brianna_Breeze and 10 others like this._

Astrid Ellison: SAM TEMPLE, STOP BUGGING ME!

Sam Temple: Tell me? Please?

Caine Soren: ...

Sanjit Brattle-Chance: His name is S-A-M-U-E-L.

Sam Temple: What sort of a name is that?

Brianna_Breeze: Way to diss yourself, Sam. **LIKE**

_Astrid Ellison, Sanjit Brattle-Chance, and 10 others like this._

* * *

Astrid Ellison has changed her relationship status to 'single'. **LIKE**

_Sam Temple likes this._

Comments:

Sam Temple: YAY! **LIKE**

_Nobody likes this._


	7. Chapter 7

**UPDATED. FINALLY. YOU MAY THANK ME NOW.**

**Okay. Just kidding. I'm so sorry for not updating in foreveeeeeeer. Exams and school. Enough said.**

**Also, the plotline is moving on to FEAR. Get ready to see changes!**

**Written Blood**  
**~Julia**

* * *

Caine Soren has posted on his wall

Caine Soren: Guys! I found Diana's secret stash of marshmallows!

_Comments:  
_Brianna_Breeze: Seriously?!  
Diana Ladris: Wait…what?  
Sam Temple: Ohmygoshwhere?

_Caine Soren liked 'APRIL FOOL'S, SUCKERS!'. _

_Comments:_  
Astrid Ellison: Predictable, as usual. I can't believe Sam fell for it.  
Sam Temple: Just like how I fell for Astrid~!  
_Nobody likes this  
_Astrid Ellison: …  
Brianna_Breeze: …  
Lana_The_Healer: …  
Edilio Escobar: …  
Astrid Ellison: I'm just going to…go…

_Astrid Ellison has logged off_

* * *

_Brianna_Breeze created the group 'Sam should stop slacking off and get his ass back in line'.  
Edilio Escobar, Astrid Ellison, John Terrafino and 300 others joined._

Sam Temple: WHY IS THE WORLD AGAINST ME?!

* * *

Sam Temple has posted on his wall

Sam Temple: Bad news. The FAYZ wall is turning dark.  
Brianna_Breeze: What?!  
Edilio Escobar: Gaiaphage, maybe? What are we supposed to do?  
Sam Temple: APRIL FOOL'S! I was kidding. As if that'd ever happen.

_a few months later…_

Sam Temple: Oh. It actually happened.  
John Terrafino: This is why we should not leave Sam to come up with crap.  
Toto_Truth-Teller: That is true.  
John Terrafino: …If not for the fact that we're pretty much in a dire situation, I would've personally gone to your place and punched you.  
Astrid Ellison: Someone please delete Sam's Facebook account.

* * *

Computer Jack: I love Brianna! **LIKE**

Comments:  
Brianna_Breeze: Here we go again.  
Dekka Talent: Get a room, you two.  
Computer Jack: QUINN HIJACKED MY COMPUTER. AGAIN.  
Quinn Gaither: Hi_jacking_. Geddit? Jack's computer got hi_jack_ed!  
_Nobody likes this_

* * *

**Okay, I'm sorry if this was too short, and if it wasn't funny. I'm not great at humour, but I sure as heck can try. =P (Kidding) Constructive criticism and feedback will be appreciated!**


End file.
